“Everybody counts or nobody counts.”
So says gritty television detective Harry Bosch, who holds a strong, hard line: every case is important. His mantra, as quoted in an article about the Michael Connelly books on which the TV series is based: “Everybody counts or nobody counts. That’s it. It means I bust my ass to make a case whether it’s a prostitute or the mayor’s wife. That’s my rule.”
In a clip from Season 7 (which we have just watched on Amazon Prime), he talks to his daughter Maddie about a case he is investigating:
I know the man is fictional, but those words “Everybody counts or nobody counts” have been walking around in circles in my brain over the last few weeks.
Wearing dresses for a good cause
I’ve just finished the 10th year of a charity support thing I do, when I wear dresses for a month in support of an organisation called Milk Matters, which supplies donor breast milk to premature babies in Cape Town.
In 2021, I wrote about why I “do the dresses” as it’s known in the family. It started out as simple camaraderie. My good friend Jenny Wright is CEO of Milk Matters. She and I are part of a playgroup that started in 2003, when our children were toddlers. We were all still meeting in 2015 when Jenny told us that Milk Matters was launching the Dresses For Lives challenge. I decided to join – it sounded like fun.
But two members of that same playgroup had been premature babies and as a group we all knew the challenges that that poses to new parents. I remain happy to do something that can help prem babies and their frazzled parents at a truly trying time in their lives.
It’s a question of values
At some point in those challenging teenage years, my son asked me to explain the reasoning behind obeying the broad moral code that says don’t kill, don’t hurt other people, and why would people bother to obey these rules if they didn’t follow a religious path (which is the case in our household).
Here’s what I said: the fundamental thing that makes us human is our ability to cooperate with each other, and our ability to form social groups in which we help one another. In that framework, it is humanity’s best instinct that we do not leave people behind – even if they are clinging to the fringes of life as a small and deeply helpless premature baby.
It’s not just babies, though
It’s that instinct that says we do not leave people behind that lies behind something extraordinary that has happened in our family over the last months.
In January, we learned that my brother-in-law Andrew Trench (husband to my sister Gill Moodie) had been diagnosed with stage four oesophageal cancer. As it all sank in, we learned that unless he gets a particular form of very expensive treatment, he is likely to die in the near future.
Andrew’s oncologist recommended immunotherapy at R90,000 per three-week treatment – but Gill and Andrew are not eligible for it in terms of their Discovery medical aid plan. Despite a funding plea motivated by Andrew’s doctor, Discovery refused an ex-gratia payment.
And so they turned to crowdfunding.
Kindness abounds
By April 2, R591 685 has been raised in the course of a week through donations from all over the world (see the campaign here: Andrew’s Fighting Chance). That’s enough to get him on his way to the fighting chance he needs.
I’ve been watching the donations as they pour in. Many of them are from former colleagues, who feel that Andrew helped them, and who want to give back:
Keep on fighting Andrew! Jie and I’ll never forget the support you showed when I was a cub reporter. Hope this little bit of support can go a long way!
Andrew, you are a legend and have had such a positive influence on my life dating back decades now. Sending you and your family (Gill!!!!) so much love and healing vibes.
I am where I am today because of you Andrew
You taught me how to not to back down from a fight. This is it.
Andrew, you’ve been an inspiration and an example to me and numerous other journalists over the years. The fact that so many of us are joining your fight shows the esteem in which you’re held.
My first-ever editor, mentor and guide… you and Gill mean the world to me. You’ve shaped so many lives, you are good people and you have so much to offer the world. Wishing you miracles and more!
Some are just beautiful:
May this support bring a little comfort, a little light, and a reminder that there are people cheering you on from near and far. We believe in your strength and in the possibility of brighter days ahead.
You are a son of the soil and we want you to grow old with us ❤
Wishing you strength and a gentle recovery, Mr Trench.
And there are also many like this:
Sending much love and healing from an expat in America who saw this on LinkedIn
Saw your post on LinkedIn. Don’t know you. Wishing you a full recovery.
Andrew, we don‘t know each other but your story on LI touched me deeply. Wishing you the strength to fight and recover. Love from Switzerland.
I don’t know you but I’m rooting for you, stay strong
So sorry may everything work out well for you 🙏🏿 just a stranger from linkedin who was touched.
The kindness of humanity
These kinds of donations are often called “the kindness of strangers”. But I think it is more than that: it is the kindness we must show each other as fellow humans.
When I was in high school, we had assembly four days a week, complete with a wholesome reading from the Bible. But sometimes our headmistress (this was a girls’ school and she wore that title proudly) would read a story about people in heaven and hell who are given spoons to eat their food. But the spoons have such long handles that you can’t get food into your mouth.
In hell, people starve. In heaven, people feed each other.
That story has stuck with me for decades. Not because I believe in heaven and hell. But I do believe in the importance of recognising our shared humanity, of feeding each other, of not leaving people behind. And that means everybody. Even Australian cricketers.
As Bruce Springsreen sings in a gospel-style song called Land of Hope and Dreams, about a train rolling “through fields where sunlight streams” to that land of hope and dreams:
Yes, this train carries saints and sinners
This train carries losers and winners
This train carries whores and gamblers
This train carries lost souls
I said, this train carries broken-hearted
This train, thieves and sweet souls departed
This train carries fools and kings
The Boss is never wrong. Everybody counts or nobody counts.
Main picture: Ditto Bowo, Unsplash
OTHER THINGS I HAVE WRITTEN
Charity begins with a dress – In March I wear a dress every day. Here’s why – it has everything to do with friendship and being a decent human being.
Charity, done in a dress – All my friends know that if it’s the month of March that must mean I’m doing dresses. I do it for charity – and here’s why that’s important.
Dresses for Lives 2024: Why women wear what they wear – A fundraising campaign involving wearing dresses for the month of March got me thinking about clothes: why do women wear what they wear?
How a village makes us all human – It takes a village to raise a child, it’s said. But what does that mean in 21st century parenting? It means get all the support you can find.
Life’s compasses: What I learned from Bruce Springsteen – Life compasses are the guides and themes that help us navigate life – and they can be found in unlikely places. Today: Bruce Springsteen. (This was part of a series.)
How can I help you make order from chaos?
Join the the Safe Hands AI Explorer learning circle!
Sign up for my Sensible Woman’s Guide to AI and Content Creation, which comes out fortnightly.
Or sign up for my personal fortnightly email newsletter In Safe Hands (it’s a place to pause and think about things).
Book a free half hour of my time, here. Find out how I can help with writing, editing, project management, general clear thinking, technical hand holding, or an introduction to AI.
Contact me via email.